Look to the Hamster

There's a reason the old saying is "Go west, young man!" Going west results in exciting discoveries, the taming of unexplored territories, challenges that are met and fears that are conquered. It is the stuff of which legends are made.

Going east results in discovering that you can't remember your own name, the turning of familiar places into unrecognized territories, challenges that are met with a whimper and fears that you will never again think clearly.

Going east results in jet lag.

I had such an easy time adjusting to China that I naively thought I would have little trouble readjusting to Chicago time. Wrong-o! It seems that traveling east disrupts our circadian rhythm in ways that traveling west does not. I was barely functional for three days, and entirely uninteresting for several more.

Had I but submitted myself to Scripture, I would have had an easier time of it. There is a verse which says,"Look to the hamster, thou sluggard" (not a word-for-word translation). Apparently, studies have shown that hamsters who use Viagra have a 50% faster recovery rate from jet lag-like symptoms than those who don't.* (A follow-up study is being planned to determine any corollary incidence of hamster participation in The Mile High Club).

It is clear from the content of this posting that I am still a bit loopy. I probably should have taken Viagra and I definitely should have refrained from posting for a couple more days...

*this is considered an "off-label use" by the drug's manufacturers. I'm sure it's the only one...